The
Radiant Mess
When you discover that the, apparently, rambling mess of
your life contains a sense of unity, a continuous sense of
wholeness that sits at the heart of that vivid messiness,
the need to compulsively change or enhance it in some way
becomes less urgent. That raw vibrancy of an angry body, or
the singing space in sadness, even the silly fidgeting of
irritability is the very stuff of Being. All experience is
included, totally unobstructed and unconditionally let-in
by this living-nowness that witnesses it all – it always
has, in fact. Now you celebrate it fearlessly – even when
you are shaking in your boots. You
love
this mess.
It is completely, totally free of dogmatism, as Stephen
Wingate puts it – free of any “should and shouldn’t”.
Everything is included when it is seen there is no thing at
all. All our ideas about spirituality are irrelevant and
have nothing to do with it. If anyone takes any kind of
dogmatic position with regards to it, whether it be “you
should practice meditation to get it” or “do not practice
meditation ever because it will reinforce seeking” – these
are all dogmatic traps – who can make rules about that
which boundless? How can you measure and prescribe
infinity? Who is there to choose in either case?
What is being pointed out is intrinsically free of
fundamentalism. Free of any destinations, rules or
boundaries. These kinds of rules are the mind’s attempt to
divide and are essentially conceptual, imaginary and
lacking in reality.
There is no-one anywhere who is choosing anything. Getting
rich is happening, losing everything is happening, dancing
is happening, being serious is happening, meditation is
happening, non-meditation is happening. When you believe
that you can choose what happens and control it, that is
the thought story, the psychological suffering.
What's more, is, when you relax and watch from nowhere you
begin to notice that their is no distinction between what
is happening anymore, its all the same thing happening
everywhere. There is no division in the universe, its a
vast integrated movement. Its Reality.
The only absolute truth is the living realness of this
moment. It needs no explanation, and cannot be explained.
It so utterly simple it’s inexpressible – you don’t need to
express it, or do it. You never did. Whatever happens is it
and what unfolds when it is seen, is a reckless joy in
whatever happens.
Do not look for awareness as a thing to cling to – you will
never find it. You will only find what is happening right
now, what happens changes all the time – what you are, is
here all the time. It is this eternal watching with no
watcher. The Real is simply seeing itself, hearing itself,
feeling itself, thinking itself as you. Everything that is
arises in it, you could say, is self-perfected. But really,
it has nothing to do with perfection or imperfection. It
goes beneath these concepts to a primordial position free
of any distinction of better or worse, good or bad.
It sounds like an immaculate, wonderful far-away place, but
it is immaculate and wonderful because it is right here
now. That’s why it is complete unity, because there is no
moving toward it anymore. No more separation – that
imaginary distance has collapsed leaving everything
complete as it is. That wanting to move toward it was the
only thing that was keeping you from noticing that you were
already there.
Relax and feel into this moment of realness that you always
occupy – notice that it is more vivid, more real than
thought stories. If you notice that it is more real than
the thought stories – explore what that primary realness
feels like. Does it have a boundary? Where is located? And
who sees it?
You might find that the answer is boundless, and always
with you in every moment. The gateless gate is always open.
Nothing can close it - no thought, idea or horror story can
take you away from this simple Reality right in front of
us. It is the ground of all experiencing, and it is vast
and undivided, allowing everything to happen. Allowing
every thing to be Real as it happens.
What you are is already welcoming everything, holding on to
nothing and free. Relax and be yourself, and you will find
that who you are is no-one at all and that is
why
everything can happen - and does.